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Indiana's coming back

March 12th 2008 11:54
Indiana Jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull. Yep, thats the name. Long isn't it.
Harrison Ford is 65. Old isn"t it. The last film came out in '89. 19 years isn't it.
Before I go on I should point out that I love the Indiana Jones films. They're everything thats good about movie making (especially the first one)
I recently read a Total Film mag entitled "TOP 100 FILM CHARACTERS OF ALL TIME". Docter jones was number 4. Not bad eh! James Bond, Darth Vadar and Jack Sparrow were 3, 2 and 1 respectivily. Now I'm not a fan of the bond films or star wars. I'd rather read the frickin phone book. Captain Jack who I like, even though I'd no idea what the fuck was happening in the last 2 films, surely needs to be around for more than 5 years or so before he has any business heading a list like that.

Surely Indy is numero uno. I mean James Bond, apart from being a poncy fucker, is not someone who connects with the average bloke. You try walking up to a bar wearing a fucking golf sweater and order a shaken not stirred martini and see where that gets you.
And ole Darth just never looks bloody comfortable to me. He's got that nasty rasping voice, wears this sadomasochistic get up with a big cloak, which is a fucking accident waiting to happen if you ask me. Not to mention that Ned Kelly from the future black bucket he wears on his bloody head.
But Indy, well, he's got the cool khaki pants, dusty well worn boots, good lookin' leather jacket, not to mention the fact he has a big arse bull whip hanging of his belt. And then there's the fedora. Now although no bloke in they're right mind would ever wear a fedora (well no-one under 70 anyway) for fear of being beaten up, we all secretly want to. Come on now lads, admit it. We all want to get up in the morning and throw on the dusty shirt and pants, the well worn boots, the beaten up jacket, hang that big arse bull whip of your belt, stand in front of the mirror and put on the fuckin fedora. And then we want to tumble down the stairs through the cobwebs with the John Williams theme tune playing followed by a 10 tonne boulder. FUCK YEH!.

And it's not just that. He's got a real humanness (I'm not sure thats even a word) about him. He dosen't have that air of invinsibility like Darth Vadar. Or he dosen't always look cool and calm under pressure like James Bond. He falls awkwardly, never with style. He gets the shit beaten out of him. Sometimes he looks like he just might fuck things up. He even walks like he's about to trip over. And he never really looks clean, does he? You know, that sweaty, smelly, haven't showered in a year kinda look.
He's also got a dad who's played by the coolest old person in the world. Sean Connery (I know, I know, he's played Bond, its all connected blah blah blah). We never met James Bonds dad although I'm sure he was a poncy wanker like his son. And we never met Darth Vadars dad, although judging by ole Darths effort at fatherhood this was propably best. (some star wars geek will propably correct me on this).
I suppose what I'm waffling on about is that I really don,t want this to all end badly. Indiana Jones deserves a proper send off. Not some shite money maker. We recently had a fourth Rambo film. Now I'm not saying Rambo is in the same league as Jones as a character but if you saw it I'm sure you'll agree it was embarassing. And it got me thinking that maybe it's a movie to far. With Speilberg, Lucas, Blanchett and the like involved, you'd think it should be in good hands. I really hope they send him back to classroom in style.
Fingers crossed.
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Comments
2 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Harry

March 13th 2008 00:51
There is no way that Jack Sparrow should have been at the top of that list! He will be all but forgotten in a few years.

Comment by Anonymous

March 13th 2008 10:12
You probably didn't know this but Bond is adopted and Vader is fatherless, he was concieved by the force in a prophetic anti-christ type thing.

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